Coping Skills for Kids: Equipping Them for Now and Later
Building Healthy Coping Habits
This post introduces evidence-based psychological strategies to help you model and teach coping skills effectively. While children may start learning some relaxation strategies around age 3, independent use of these skills typically develops closer to age 7. Your focus should be on integrating these strategies into your own coping methods so your child can observe and learn by example. Participating in online parenting courses with certificates or parenting workshops online can offer structured strategies to improve your own coping techniques and enhance your child’s learning experience.
Understanding Co-Regulation
Young children naturally rely on parents to help them regulate their emotions. This process, known as co-regulation, is a healthy and expected part of development. As children grow, they gradually develop more independence in managing their feelings.
The CBT Model: Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) highlights the interconnectedness of thoughts, feelings, and actions. By applying coping strategies that target one of these areas, you can influence the others. For example, using relaxation techniques to calm the body can improve both mood and behavior. Below are practical coping strategies for each area:
Relaxation Strategies (Changing Feelings)
Relaxation strategies help children calm their bodies, which in turn improves their mood and thoughts. Here are three effective techniques:
Breathing Exercises:
Pretend to smell cookies baking (inhale) and blow on them to cool them down (slow, long exhale).
Place a stuffed animal on your child’s stomach and have them watch it rise and fall as they breathe.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
Use a “Lemonade Squeeze” game: Pretend to squeeze lemons tightly, then shake the tension out of your hands.
Guided Imagery
Have your child draw their "happy place" or imagine it in detail, engaging their five senses to create a calming mental image.
Encourage your child to try different strategies and choose what works best for them. Some children may prefer alternatives like singing or rocking.
Mindset Shifts (Changing Thoughts)
Our thoughts shape our emotions and behavior. Parents can model helpful thought patterns to guide their children. Follow these steps to challenge unhelpful thoughts:
Identify the unhelpful thought.
Ask questions to challenge it. For example:
Is this thought entirely true?
What other perspectives should I consider?
Is this thought helpful or productive?
Develop a new, balanced thought.
For example:
Unhelpful Thought: "It's rude to be late."
New Thought: "Sometimes things come up, and people understand delays. It’s okay."
Choosing Different Actions (Changing Behavior)
Choosing to act differently can positively impact your emotions and thoughts. Parents can guide children through these steps:
Recognize the feeling.
Choose a positive action despite the feeling.
Acknowledge the positive outcome.
For example:
Situation: James doesn’t want to change clothes for the playground.
Action: James’ parent first acknowledges his frustration, saying, "I know you’re upset because you want to keep playing." They then offer choices: "Would you like to change clothes now or after finishing this puzzle?" After James agrees, his parent encourages him by saying, "I know that was tough, but now you can enjoy the playground." This step-by-step approach helps James understand his feelings, make a positive choice, and feel proud of the result.
Practicing Coping Skills with Your Child
Introduce coping strategies during calm moments, practice them together, and gradually encourage their use in more challenging situations. Some children prefer direct reminders, while others may respond better to parents modeling the skill naturally. Seeking support from parent coaching online programs can help parents learn the best ways to implement these techniques in everyday life.
When to Seek Additional Support
If you're facing repeated parenting challenges, an online parenting program or parenting coaching can provide tailored guidance. Coaching works to help parents develop confidence and practical solutions.
Take the Next Step with Triplemoon
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