The average length of maternity leave in the US is a mere 10 weeks, most of it unpaid⁹. Our FMLA policies in the US haven’t evolved since the 1990s despite significant research that demonstrates the positive physical and mental benefits for both mother and baby from longer maternity leaves, specifically lower mortality rates, lower rates of perinatal mood disorders, and longer duration of breastfeeding¹⁰. Meanwhile countries in the EU are mandating a minimum of 4 months paid leave for both parents.  For some women - getting back into a routine outside the home can be a welcome change. For other women - this pressure to “revert back” can cause significant internal conflict. On one hand you are still very much motivated to achieve your professional and personal aspirations; however, on the other hand your physical and mental needs may pull you towards home and towards your new role as a mother. Navigating this transition can feel monumental for many women.

Today 71.7% of mothers are also in the workforce¹¹ (amazing!), and despite the myth that mothers become less ambitious postpartum, research by McKinsey & Company in conjunction with the LeanIn institute show that mothers are just as ambitious as their male counterparts¹². However, despite this professional ambition women continue to work a double shift at home. According to McKinsey & Company, “Generations of women have fought for faster career advancement and more equitable representation at work. Yet despite some hard-fought gains, women still carry out a disproportionate amount of childcare and household work”¹³. This double shift requires flexibility and support in all areas - both at work and at home. In fact flexibility was ranked as a top 3 employee benefit - 68-78% of women value the ability to choose when/where they work and/or the ability to work remotely¹⁴. However, finding a role that allows this flexibility can take time, require tradeoffs, and demand advocacy. Moms - we see you! 

You may occasionally find yourself thinking…where did the day go, and you’re not alone! Only 39% of mothers report having at least one hour per day to themselves¹⁵. The reality of having a newborn means that our time is no longer “your own.” If you are breastfeeding you may feel this deficit of personal time even more dramatically. Research has shown that,  a year of breastfeeding is equal to ~1,800 hours of work, which is only about 150 hours less than someone working a full time office job (40-hours per week with 3 weeks of vacation)¹⁶, and we all know babies don't take a vacation from eating! There are new limitations on our time and energy, and as a new parent we’re faced with difficult choices and tradeoffs that we didn’t previously have to make.

We are exposed to so many versions of the “perfect mother;” she is calm, patient, and all-knowing. She can instantly soothe children of all ages, and always knows just what to say, and how to say it. She is balanced, makes healthy choices, and of course always has time for self-care, exercise, and plenty of sleep. Are you noticing anything reading this? It’s not possible! Mothers are people with their own personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. Don’t let the myth of the supermom become your expectation. Recognize this falsehood and shift your thoughts to your own personal strengths and lean into those. It can be easy to turn the expectations of others inward, to expect perfection in ourselves - which in reality creates more distance between our authentic selves and the parent we are meant to be.