Play
Play Strategies
20 MINUTE READ
Published August 2024
AUTHORS
Katie Sardone, PhD PMH-C
Head of Clinical, Licensed Psychologist & Perinatal Mental Health Specialist
Margaret Vadiee, PhD
Contributing Editor, Licensed Psychologist
For children, play isn't just for fun – it's a crucial part of development. Learn how to foster age-appropriate play in your daily routine.
Can play really be productive?
Your 5-year-old child plays dress up and imagines that he is a veterinarian. Most parents easily identify that as play. But children of ALL ages play – even infants – and play looks different at each developmental stage. From the earliest days you can think of play as simply responding to your child. If you aren’t sure where to start, remember that their favorite game is you! They just want your face, your eye contact, your attention, your smiles and your laughter. Spending time delighting in your infant and engaging in a riveting back and forth babble conversation will fill your child’s “play” cup. Your toddler will love hearing you talk about whatever you are doing - even daily tasks like household chores, errands, cooking, cleaning, and gardening! Narrate aloud what you are doing and invite your child into the experience with you.
Breaking play down further
Over time, play shifts and changes, and there are also different forms of play that serve different developmental purposes. Here are the 3 types of play you should think about as a parent:
-
Just like it sounds, it involves physical movement and exercise (e.g., playing on a playground, running in the yard, jumping on a trampoline, skipping). This physical play promotes coordination, motor development, and also provides the same benefits of adult exercise (e.g., improved mood and sense of well-being).
-
This is all about creating! Babies and toddlers love to build and construct block towers, and create art and toys with cardboard boxes. Anytime a child is building something, they are developing visuospatial skills, developing fine motor skills and better understanding language and concepts associated with their creations (e.g., “big," "small," "on," "under").
-
Pretend Play
Pretend play is the final play form which develops between 18 – 24 months of age. In pretend play, children try on different roles, use their imagination, and engage in fantasy play. You might see a child pretending to cook a soup in her play kitchen or walk an imaginary dog on a leash. These children have discovered the freedom and magic of creating and trying out any scenario in the world right in their very own home.
What the research says
We usually think of “playing” as something that’s done just for ‘fun.’ Play is fun, but for children it doesn’t just serve a recreational purpose. Play is the “work” of a child. Children use play as a way to:
🌎 Learn; Understand themselves, others and the world around them.
😎 Try out new roles
😨 Process difficult experiences, or manage big feelings.
✍ Practice or develop new skills
🤝 Build relationships with family and friends.
Play is also a fun way to build on developmental progress and promote overall developmental health and well-being.
REMEMBER: You do not need to engage in specific play behaviors (or have specific toys!) to bring about developmental milestone achievement, but rather these strategies build on natural development over time and should allow for low-stress and enjoyable interaction between you and your child.
What play might look like for your family…
There’s no one “right” way to play. In the table to the right, each age gives you more ideas of ways to play based on their developmental level, but you can continue using all the strategies from prior ages if you and your child are enjoying it. If you are engaging with your child in a way you both like, keep doing it! Some playtime activities overlap with doing basic things to care for your child (e.g., bath time).
Important reminder: Toys should be evaluated for age appropriateness and used only as indicated by the manufacturer. Small parts can pose a choking hazard for children. Play should always be supervised by an adult.
-
What your child might be doing
In these early days, babies play through beginning to smile, enjoying face-to-face contact with caregivers (babies love exaggerated facial expressions), listening to music, and listening to their parents.
What you can be doing
Parents can read books, sing, giggle and snuggle with their baby. It can also be fun to introduce your baby to family members, play peek-a-boo and speak to them in a second language if you know one! Narrate the world around you in that sweet sing-song voice you sometimes can’t help but do around babies.
At-home Tools
General tools: mobile with high contrast colors and patterns, music players, soft brightly colored toys that make gentle sounds, sturdy rattles
Physical play: soft blanket or mat for floor time
Constructive & pretend play: NA at this age
-
What your child might be doing
As baby continues to grow, she interacts with others through "conversations," giggling, and movement. She enjoys smiling back and forth with caregivers, and can laugh and mimic sounds to show interest and attention. Baby will like being outside and watching the leaves move on a windy day. Baby also enjoys mirror reflections.
What you can be doing
Since baby is developing more interest in others, this is a great time to start introducing baby to other children and parents (watch cues for readiness to meet people and be quick to give her breaks when she's not feeling social). From this point forward, daily play time on the floor is very important and helps enhance development. Consider developing a daily floor play routine to enjoy with your sweet baby! Take turns cooing, dance with your baby while listening to rhythmic music, or tell her all about the neighborhood while you're out on a walk. Make silly faces in the mirror together.
At-home Tools
General tools: unbreakable mirror with soft edges, soft balls, textured toys that make sounds, toys that have finger holds, musical toys (bells, maracas, tambourines), board books with bright colors and different textures.
Physical play: soft blanket or play mat for floor time
Constructive play: baby blocks and soft toys to stimulate hand-eye coordination
Pretend play: NA at this age
-
What your child might be doing
Play with baby can become increasingly reciprocal as they develop physically, cognitively and socially. Children like to pick up small items practicing their new fine motor skills (e.g., placing objects in a container and dumping them out), scribbling with crayons and initiating "patty cake."
What you can be doing
Play "hide and seek" games such as "peek a boo" or "hiding" your face and then finding "mommy" or "baby." Sing-along songs that involve hand and body movements can also be a fun and engaging activity at this age. Don't forget that daily floor play time and consider making bath time fun with floating toys that squirt or hold water.
At-home Tools
General tools: Mirrors, squeezable toys (e.g., toys that make sounds or bath toys that squirt), safe toys without hard edges such as dolls, cars, and balls. Toys that play music. “Activity center” toys with many bright colors, textures, and items to flip, turn, scoot, etc. Board books with large pictures. Make sure the parts are not small enough to fit into baby's mouth.
Physical play: activity centers, play mat or soft area to practice crawling or walking, outdoor swings
Constructive toy: large building blocks, stackable toys (e.g., stackable cups or pails)
Pretend play: Toys that mimic real household items (e.g., kitchen toys, telephone, hair dryer, etc.) Note that we don’t expect pretend play to develop until 18-24 months.
-
What your child might be doing
Between 1 and 2 years old, babies develop solitary play skills in which they are engrossed in their own exploration and play. After about 18 months of age play will start to become more focused and intentional.
What you can be doing
Children at this stage enjoy arts and crafts, scribble with crayons, play with blocks and soft toys, engage in imaginative play and play guessing games (e.g., point out familiar objects and have your child guess the name). At this age your child can also start to sort shapes and colors and will enjoy practicing their new ability to walk outside.
At-home tools
General tools: Large egg shaped crayons or chalk that are easy for small hands to hold, plastic bucket and shovel, soft balls of large sizes, toys to bring on stroller walks or in the shopping cart, bath toys, unbreakable household items (e.g., wooden spoon, durable container), musical instruments, books
Physical play: push and pull toys with wheels/wagon, tunnel to crawl through, outdoor swings and slides, beginning tricycle
Constructive play: blocks for stacking, Mega blocks, nesting toys (e.g., measuring cups)
Pretend play: cars/trucks, puppets, dolls, stuffed animals
-
What your child might be doing
At about age 2 a child's ability to play alongside another child develops; this is called parallel play. In parallel play a child does not play collaboratively with the other child but engages in individual play in the presence of another child. Children can stack taller block towers, work with 3-4 piece puzzles, play with dolls and push buttons on toys.
What you can be doing
Parents can enjoy introducing new toys and games. Get creative, throw a dance party with favorite music or play hide and seek with a toy or yourselves (your child may not know if their body is not totally "hidden" so play along and call for them while you look in all the wrong places before excitedly finding them)!
At-home tools
General toys: Sidewalk chalk, simple pegged puzzles with (e.g., letters, numbers, animals), counting, letter, and story books,, pounding bench, bubbles, lacing cards, books
Physical play: outdoor swings, slides, mini basketball hoop, playhouse
Constructive play: Play-Dough, Duplo blocks, Mr. Potato Head
Pretend play: dress up clothes, kitchen toys, construction toys, gardening toys, dolls and dollhouses, broom and dust pan, stuffed animals
-
What your child might be doing
Around age 3 or 3.5 children begin to engage in more cooperative play called social play in which children are working together to reach the same goals. Children at this age have lots of energy and enjoy physical play such as throwing or kicking a ball and running games.
What you can be doing
Try more complex puzzles, arts and crafts. Consider painting size appropriate pasta noodles and stringing them to make a necklace or teaching your child how to be a gardener (let them get in the dirt, use shovels, plant and water seeds).
At-home tools
General toys: Peg boards, water tables, large wooden beads with strings, 4-5 piece puzzles, books
Physical play: Previously mentioned outdoor toys, Sand castles, balls to kick and throw
Constructive play: Duplo blocks ,Magnatiles, arts & crafts (e.g., construction paper, child-safe scissors, finger paint, shape copying games)
Pretend play: all previously mentioned toys, can begin to introduce more complex versions
-
What your child might be doing
Children at this age are now playing collaboratively with others, gaining independence and growing in their self-confidence. She's more able to comfortably separate from mom and go out on her own to explore (this helps with kinder readiness). Due to her growing hand control, arts and crafts become even more exciting.
What you can be doing
Cutting and pasting activities can be really fun at this stage, have them cut out simple shapes, glue and use craft materials with all different textures and colors (e.g., pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, glitter, googly eyes and chalk). Let them help with real life chores like getting the mail, picking weeds or sorting socks.
At-home tools
General toys: Card and board games, tracing/copying geometric patterns, watercolor painting, books
Physical play: previously mentioned outdoor toys and balls, space outside to run around and be creative
Constructive play: Clay, increasingly complex arts & crafts, Duplo blocks, Magnatiles
Pretend play: all previously mentioned toys, can begin to introduce more complex versions
About the authors
Katie Sardone, PhD, PMH-C
Dr. Katie Sardone is a Licensed Psychologist and the founder of Behavioral Health Dallas, PLLC.
Margaret Vadiee, PhD
Dr. Margaret Vadiee is a Licensed Psychologist and a former Adjunct Clinical Assistant Professor at Southern Methodist University in the Psychology Department.
Nutritionists
•
Adult mental health
•
Couples mental health
•
Infant & child mental health
•
Sleep coaching
•
Nutritionists • Adult mental health • Couples mental health • Infant & child mental health • Sleep coaching •
When to get
expert support
Sometimes you might need more support, and that's okay! Here are times you may consider reaching out to a specialist:
You don't feel comfortable with these ideas and you need a play strategy that feels more suitable to your aesthetic.
Your child is playing the same scary or sad scene over and over again. A mental health professional can help you understand what is typical.
Your child's play doesn't seem fun, or there is a lack of imaginative play as they get older.
-
Altmann, T., Hill, D. L., Shelov, S. P., & Hannemann, R. E. (Eds.). (2019). Caring for your baby and young child: Birth to age 5 (7th ed.). Random House Publishing Group.
Siegel, D., & Bryson, T. P. (2021). The power of showing up: How parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired. Random House Books.
Zachry, A. H. (2014). Retro baby: Cut back on all the gear and boost your baby’s development with more than 100 time-tested activities. American Academy of Pediatrics.
Zachry, A. H. (2018). Retro toddler: More than 100 old-school activities to boost development. American Academy of Pediatrics.